What Is a Karmic Soulmate?
These are relationships —often romantic— that never quite fit into neat boxes. Sometimes they feel like love, other times like friendship, and occasionally you wonder why this person was ever your partner at all —maybe they should’ve just been a sibling or something like that.
Karmic soulmates, as the name suggests, are people you’ve known in one or more past lives. It’s said you sign a kind of “contract” to meet and keep reuniting with them across every reincarnation you experience —at least here in this human journey.
The purpose of these strange connections? To teach you one core lesson: how to love yourself. That’s why these relationships ultimately fail, no matter how hard both parties try, over and over.
The cycle doesn’t end until one of you decides to stop falling back into it. Because as long as they’re in your life (or you’re in theirs) —even as a friend, confidant, or last tie to your past— the lesson of that “contract” remains unlearned. Even if you’re never physically together or happy long-term, the bond lingers.
I know this sounds wild, even “out there,” to folks raised on Western ideas that we’re born from dust and return to dust —that there’s only one life, no angels, no chakras, no feng shui, none of that. So let’s give some examples.
For Millennials, the classic karmic soulmate duo is Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.
They met young, each other’s first official love, all smiles as “Jelena” —until it fell apart. They’d reunite (because, crucially, they could never fully forget each other), only to split again. This went on for nearly a decade: together, apart, dating others, then drawn back. Their last reunion? They ended up marrying… other people. Justin, at least. Selena got a kidney transplant (allegedly), Justin found out via cereal-box news, and —maybe “innocently”— reached out. Cue another breakup.
Traits of Karmic Soulmate Relationships:
– When you meet, you either feel you’ve known them forever, or instantly dislike them. Sometimes both: hate at first sight that twists into eerie familiarity.
– You’re never fully together —either physically or emotionally— or only in fleeting bursts.
– You never forget each other.
– You might barely speak in person, yet confess everything in private.
– Every attempt to make it work fails catastrophically.
– You can go months or years apart, build lives with others, but in a weak moment, one seeks the other.
– When together, one fights to escape —then begs to return.
– Friends warn it’s nothing but a toxic obsession.
– If you usually keep old friends, this is the one you’d rather never see again. Or if you normally cut ties cleanly, this is the lone exception —a presence flickering across decades.
A client from my Tarot readings put it best: “With them, you live a lifetime in just months.”
For Gen X/Xennials (1977–1983, analog childhoods/digital youths), the fictional archetype is Dawson Leery and Joey Potter from Dawson’s Creek —a mess of unrequited love, friend-zoning, and regret.
What to Do If You’re in a Karmic Soulmate Dynamic:
Almost all of us have had one. No matter how many lovers, friends, or spouses you’ve had, there’s always that one person —the one you’d have dropped everything for, reinvented yourself for. But here’s the truth: it will always fail, usually in the worst way. Even if you reconnect as “just friends,” an invisible wall rises. One day, they’ll stop answering calls, texts, emails —no explanation, often when you need them most.
The Lesson:
You have yourself. Before loving others, love you. Your well-being doesn’t depend on anyone—not even them. Hard moments are for growing; if they’re always there to dry your tears, you’ll never mature. That’s when love becomes codependence.
How to End the Cycle:
1. Accept that perpetuating this “love” or “friendship” is pointless. The pain of parting will always return.
2. You can live without them —just as they’ve lived without you.
3. “Closure” is a myth. Seeking it just reignites the cycle.
4. Some wounds never fully close, but healing is your choice. No spell or brujo can free you if you cling to the invisible tether.
5. Burn (or box up) the relics: photos, gifts, journals. When you finally accept their right to be happy without “The One”, magic happens: real love arrives unannounced.
Because true love isn’t sought —it appears. No overthinking, just feeling. It’s the person you’d grow old with, the one who inspires you to become your best self.
And yes, it exists. Don’t believe me? Ask my Tarot cards.